Extinguished Flame
by Sonya-Heather-DeVito
Summary: Severus Snape gathers the courage and looks in the Mirror of Erised. What he witnesses isn't something he expected. My first Snily fic, I hope I did justice to his character.


_**A/N: This story has been written for the International Wizarding School Championship Forum and the Golden Snitch Forum.**_

_**Challenges: Round 2(IWSC) and Through the Universe(TGS)**_

_**School/House: Ilvermorny, year 5(IWSC) ; Slytherin, Hogwarts(TGS)**_

_**Prompt: Main: [Object] Mirror of Erised (IWSC)**_

_** Circumpolar Star -(word) Always (TGS; Through the Universe)**_

_**Theme: Lumos**_

_**Word Count: 1551**_

* * *

Severus' mind was wandering in many different directions as he walked through the empty corridors of Hogwarts, in absolute silence. The headmaster was in the infirmary at the moment and had _purposely_ given Severus the task to get the Mirror of Erised removed from its current confinements, to that of a safer one. The Potions master had initially wanted to ignore what Dumbledore had asked for, but it was better than standing and listening to his nonsense and heartfelt conversations with Potter.

The Potter brat! Now that was one thing which was bothering Severus to no end. He wanted to know _how_ the boy had been able to defeat the Dark Lord, without any proper training whatsoever? And more so, how was he _able_ to get past all the hurdles and riddles set up by various professors? How was Harry able to crack _'his'_ potions riddle?

From what he had observed, Harry wasn't good at potions; just like Severus had _expected_. The boy barely knew the basics to the subject, which meant that his know-it-all and the bushy-haired friend had helped him in breaking the school rules and going on a suicide mission. Severus got all the more angry at this - the Potter brat was just_ like_ his father; not leaving even a single opportunity to show off and become a hero, he didn't think twice before breaking the school rules or tried to inform any of the staff members. Harry Potter was as _reckless_ and_ irresponsible_ as his bully father.

Snape finally reached his destination. The whole room was succumbed in darkness and the atmosphere was chilly and cold - colder than that of the dungeons. He swiftly pulled out his wand and spoke,_ "Lumos maxima."_

The glowing light from his wand illuminated the room and cleared away the darkness. As soon as his eyes adjusted to the brightness, he frowned internally at the mess in front of his eyes - the walls were scorched and blackened, there were rumbles and pieces of broken pillars and floor. The whole room was filled in smoke and dust, _indicative_ of the raging fight that had happened between Potter and the Dark Lord. The object of the Dark Lord's fascination, _however_, stood proud and unharmed right in the centre of the room. It didn't have even the tiniest scratch on it, and to this moment Severus was curious, as to how did Dumbledore manage to put the odd red stone, inside it?

With strained steps, he moved towards the mirror; _petrified_ of what he might see in the mirror.

Severus, of course, knew very well as to what his heart desired the most, longed for the most; he wasn't ready, however, to face _'her'_ yet. He hadn't been able to forgive himself, in all these years, then _why_ would she ever forgive him? How would she react to seeing him? How could she not hate him?

Still, work needed to be done. He still had so many pending tasks and on top of that, the major predicament of Voldemort fleeting away, remained unresolved.

He _wasn't_ a brave person, never had been; he was a master at hiding his true emotions and feelings, behind the proud mask of dislike and hatred. _Yet,_ with all the courage he could gather in his mind and heart, he stood rigid in front of the mirror and looked straight - his face devoid of any emotions.

At first, he could only see his reflection in the mirror. No sooner, however, the glass of the mirror shimmered a bit, and another person's outline could be seen forming. She had long and fiery red hair, easily reaching her waist. Her too green eyes sparkled with love, life and passion; with same innocent mischief that warmed his heart. She wore the brightest of smiles - the same one that would light up his whole world whenever he saw it.

Her eyes held respect and affection, for him, _unlike_ the betrayal and utter hatred he'd witnessed last time from her - the time when he had called her the word _'mudblood_.' Her smile was all toothy and far away from the grim ones, Severus was used to receiving.

But _why_ was she smiling at him like that? Why did she seem to behave as if _nothing_ had happened between them; as if she wasn't a universe away from his reach and not dead? Why wasn't she yelling at him and cursing him for not being able to save her; for betraying her? Why was she acting so calm?

And then it hit him like a tonne of bricks and Severus suddenly started feeling dizzy. This _wasn't_ Lily, his sweet and innocent Lily, the one he'd loved with all his heart and the only one who cared for his well being. No, she wasn't Lily Evans. The woman standing in front of him was just a memory of the most beautiful woman he once used to know. She was just a shard of an image of the enigma that was Lily, that would be forever etched into a safe corner of his mind and heart. The woman smiling sweetly at him wasn't Lily. She was a _mere reflection_ of her.

He didn't know what hurt more - the fact that she was not here, or the fact that her reflection seemed so much like hers that he, for a few moments, forgot about the crimes he'd committed?

"Sevvie!" Salazar, how long had he waited to be called with such love and right? Her whisper was like the sweetest poison and entranced by her voice, he slowly closed the distance separating them. He fought the urge to raise his hand and lightly caress her soft skin with his rough palm.

"Lily." He hadn't spoken the word in years; the word felt so strange yet so right while rolling off his tongue. And then he heard the most unexpected words, he ever could, in his life.

"_I forgive you_," the reflection of his Lily said. His heart constricted and tears, finally, escaped his eyes. How could she, so easily, overlook his mistakes? She didn't have that right! She couldn't say such cruel words to him when she wasn't even here. Severus would only believe her if she would come back to him; only then he would be able to forgive his own guilty conscience and move on with his life. A life which held no meaning without her.

"Believe me," she insisted. He didn't have enough strength in him, and his knees finally collided with the floor with a loud thud. The words echoed in his mind, taunting him, haunting him.

'Believe me' he had said when they had first met, in the park and Lily had expressed her concern about the long gash on his hand, but Severus had assured that he was fine when he never was.

'Believe me' he had said when Lily was worried that the stupid house rivalry would come between them or their friendship; but he had assured that she would never be alone.

'Believe me' he had said when demanded if he was jealous of the handsome James Potter, who had announced his undying love for Lily, in front of everyone.

'Believe me' he had said when Lily had asked if he was hiding something from her and didn't tell her that he has had on and off thoughts about swearing his allegiance to the Dark Lord.

'Believe me' he had said when he had broken her heart and called her a 'mudblood', in a fit of rage.

_'Believe me' he had said, yet lied to her every single time._

He saw her kneeling in front of him, her face scrunched up in concern and worry. His mind flashed back to the horrible fate he had endured after the 'mudblood' incident. Severus wouldn't agree out loud, but he knew that her absence in his pathetic life, pushed him towards the depths of darkness.

Lily had been his safe haven and the only person who did not mind his unwealthy status. Though being a child herself, she completely understood his family problems and would often offer the most absurd ideas, to take his mind off the bad memories. She would stand bravely between Severus and his bullies, and protect him. She was the light in the dark life, the only source of happiness he had experienced. She was the brightest _'Lumos',_ always glowing and smiling ethereally. If Severus was day Lily was his sun - radiating warmth and happiness around her. If Severus was night, Lily was his moon, sweeping away the misery with her shining light.

And what had he given her in return? Sorrow; nothing else but pain and difficulties. The Dark Lord may have been the one to pull his wand at Lily and speak the spell that took her life; in reality, however, Severus was her _true murderer_. In his jealousy, he had squeezed the life out of her with his own hands; extinguished the bright flame that was Lily Evans with his own hands.

"Take care of Harry, would you? Look after him," Lily spoke, hope persistent in her eyes.

"Always."

His voice came out thick, but it was a promise he intended to keep even at the cost of his own life.


End file.
